Baggage Claim

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With a healthy self-definition, we know what is ours and what is not. Then we can share in carrying the common burden.

Galatians 6:1-5

Key Verses: Galatians 6:2 & 5
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ…for each of you should carry your own load.

We conclude our Boundaries series today by examining a passage from Galatians. Paul writes this letter to the churches in Galatia, which he founded and shepherded. He hears that missionaries from Jerusalem have come and tried to convince the new Gentile Christians in Galatia that they need to follow the Law, observe the Jewish festivals, and be circumcised. Remember, these missionaries are Jewish Christians who believe that new followers of Jesus must also follow the Law of Moses. But, for Paul, the cross represents a complete transformation of reality. Life will never be the same again because of the radical grace Jesus offers.

Paul argues that emphasizing the Law makes God’s love conditional and undermines the power of the Holy Spirit to guide the life of the community. The Law fails to recognize the power of God to give unity to the community through reconciliation. Paul fears that by returning to the Law, people will return to life as usual and fail to embrace the new creation possible in Jesus. He teaches instead that Jesus came to set us free from the Law. He interprets the meaning of the cross not as an atoning sacrifice but as the event that has broken the power of the forces that hold us captive.

But, how do we live in the freedom of this new life? Paul addresses this issue in our passage today. He begins by reminding us that we have a responsibility to each other. We cannot live in the Sprit by ourselves; we need each other to help us with our blind spots. Instead of viewing each other as competitors for God’s grace, he reminds us that we already have God’s unconditional love and therefore we can treat each other as brothers and sisters. As family, then, we watch out for each other and gently and humbly point out each other’s sins for the purpose of healing and restoration. Twice Paul warns us to be careful that we do not fall into sin ourselves—the sin of pride and self-righteousness and thinking too highly of ourselves. This humility requires self-examination. We must be aware of our motivations and what lies behind our own emotions and responses to others.

This self-examination empowers us to claim what is ours and what is not ours and it helps us freely respond to another in need. Paul makes a distinction between a burden and a load. Jesus uses the same word for burden when he describes how the Pharisees place an impossible burden on people to follow with all of their applications of the Law. A burden cannot be carried alone; it must be shared. In this context, then, a burden involves trying to figure everything out ourselves. We will have blind spots and we will sin, and only people who love us can help us with this burden.

A load, on the other hand, implies everyday actions that we take. We cannot hold others responsible for our feelings, actions, or responses. They belong to us. Yes, other people’s actions impact our emotions and behavior, but we must choose how to respond. Because of the Holy Spirit given to us as followers of Jesus and children of God, we have the power to make our own choices. The cross sets us free—free to both accept responsibility for our own actions and free to respond in love to others who need us. But, it also reminds us that we do not do this alone; we have the power of the Holy Spirit, the love of God, the forgiveness of Jesus, and the support of the community.

Questions for Reflection

1—Think of a time when someone corrected you with judgment and condemnation. How did you respond? Can you think of a time when someone corrected you with love and humility and gentleness? How did that experience differ from the first one? How did you respond? If you responded initially with defensiveness, how did self-examination change your perspective?

2—Think of a time when you corrected someone else with arrogance, accusation, and self-righteousness. How did the other person respond? Have you ever approached someone with humility and gentleness and pointed out a sin? How did you prepare to do that? How did the other person respond?

3—How does learning what is within your control and what is not in your control empower you? How does it give you peace? What practices can help you develop skills of self-examination that Paul describes? What role does forgiveness play?

4—How did the Holy Spirit speak to you in worship today?

Secure Enough to Risk

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When we feel secure in who we are, we can take risks for God.

Scripture Notes for Matthew 25:14-29
Key Verse: Matthew 25:16

“The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more.”

Today we explore a passage from a section of the Gospel of Matthew called “the Judgment Discourse,” which begins in chapter 23. Jesus has entered Jerusalem already and is spending his last days teaching about God’s kingdom. Our sections comes from day two (Tuesday) of his last week on earth. As you can imagine, tension builds as he moves closer to the cross and tries to help his followers understand the radically different nature of life based on a loving relationship with God. Even though Jesus knows he will not be physically present with them after the crucifixion, he also knows that his love will remain with them forever. In fact, the closing line of Matthew promises this presence: “And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20.)

For Jesus, this on-going presence represents good news! So many of us, on the other hand, have a sense of this presence as an eternal watchdog waiting for us to make a mistake. Maybe this notion comes from childhood images of Santa Claus: “You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good, for goodness sake.” Wherever we get the concept, it does not seem to be new. People in Jesus’ day struggle with the same fear. But, Jesus and his followers remind us that God’s love casts out fear. (See 1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”)

Our passage today demonstrates the difference between people who act out of fear and those who act out of love and trust. Jesus tells the story of three servants. The master goes away for a long time and entrusts each of them with some of his money. The first servant receives five talents, the second one receives two talents, and the third one receives one talent. A talent represents a huge sum of money about equal to a day laborer’s yearly wages of 15 years. Multiply that sum times five and the first servant has more money than he will make in his lifetime. Imagine the generosity of the master and the trust he has in his servants to leave them with that amount of money.

The first two servants respond to that trust and love by investing the master’s money and doubling the investment by the time he returns! Imagine the risks they must have taken to gain a 100% return on their investment. Imagine the trust in their master in order to take those risks and know the master would not be angry if they failed. These first two servants feel so secure in the master’s love that they can risk investing the entire amount.

The third servant, however, responds differently. He buries the talent that the master entrusts to him. When the master returns, the third servant gives back what the master gave him. But, notice the words he speaks to his master: “I knew you were a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent. Here is what belongs to you.” This third servant characterizes the master as hard and unjust, who arouses only fear and caution. Yet, we have just seen the generosity of the master and the kindness and celebration toward the other two servants. Jesus story evokes a question: “Which picture best describes God? Someone who is generous and kind and invites participation or someone to be feared?”

So, what does this image of God have to do with boundaries? If we view God as someone to be feared, we make all of our decisions out of fear. We will fear rejection or abandonment or guilt and we will be unable to set boundaries with others because of that fear. Then, we will be unable to be who God created us to be, unable to fully invest ourselves in participating with the master in creating a life together. When we feel God’s love and constant presence as a positive force in our lives, we can be secure enough in that love to risk, to invest ourselves in relationships without fear, to become all that God created for us.

Questions for Reflection
1—Take a moment and draw a picture of God. What does God look like to you? What images does God evoke in your mind and imagination? Now spend some time reflecting on these images. How did they develop? What experiences contributed to your image of God? Is your image fear-based or love-based?
2—Think of two relationships in your life, one in which you feel completely secure and another in which you feel insecure. What makes the difference between those two relationships? What events have contributed to your feelings of either security or insecurity? How do you behave differently in each relationship? What things would have to change in order for you to feel secure in all of your relationships?
3—What areas of your life reflect a security in God’s love? Where do you risk everything to be who God created you to be? Where do you hold back out of fear? What practices can you begin to help you feel secure enough in God’s love to risk and find freedom?
4—How did the Holy Spirit speak to you in worship today?

Healthy Respect

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Jesus allows people to make their own choices while still loving them and invites us to do the same.

Mark 10:17-27

Key Verses: Mark 10:21-22 “Jesus looked at him and loved him. ‘One thing you lack,’ he said. ‘Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.”

Today’s reading comes from the second half of the Gospel of Mark, which begins in chapter 8 and records Jesus’ journey to Jerusalem and his death. During this journey, Jesus attempts to prepare his disciples for the upcoming events and how to understand them in light of the Kingdom of God. Interspersed with these passion predictions, Jesus teaches those following him about the upside-down nature of the kingdom. In chapter 8, he tells them that in order to gain their life, they must lose it. Then, in the next chapter, he explains that the one who wants to be greatest must be the servant of all. He takes a child in their midst and instructs the followers that when they welcome the children, they welcome him. Right before our passage today, Jesus’ disciples try to send children away, but Jesus takes the children on his lap and blesses them. Then he reminds the disciples that we must become like children to enter the kingdom of God.

All of these paradoxical teachings create the context for today’s reading. As Jesus journeys, a man runs up to him and falls on his knees and addresses him, asking, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus responds by deflecting the compliment and reminding the man that only God alone is good. In light of our Boundaries series, this action demonstrates that Jesus understands and respects the difference between his role and God’s role.

Then Jesus highlights the commandments for the man. The man responds by saying that he has followed all of these commandments since childhood. Jesus looks at the man and loves him. He sees the man’s desires and knows what stands in the way. So, he invites the man to go and sell all that he has and give it to the poor, then come and follow. Jesus knows that wealth and its trappings present obstacles on the way to discipleship. Again, Jesus surprises his followers who believe that wealth demonstrates God’s blessing. Instead, Jesus views riches as strangling God’s work in someone’s life, because wealth often comes with socio-economic expectations and status, which give its holders a sense of power and status over others. This power flies in the face of the kingdom of God, where children and servants find honor and even Jesus refuses to be called good.

However, the man cannot imagine what a life without his wealth looks like, so he goes away sad. Notice Jesus right here. He does not belittle the man. He does not try to persuade him to stay. He does not attempt to control him. Instead, Jesus continues to love him, demonstrating that unconditional love that God has for us and invites us to share with ourselves and others. Jesus respects the man’s decision to leave and lets him go, demonstrating deep love for him.

This story demonstrates several aspects of healthy respect in boundaries. First, Jesus respects himself and does not expect himself to be God. He instead reminds the man that only God can be called good. Second, Jesus loves the man which leads to understanding. When we love others, we can understand where they are on their journey and respect that place, even if we do not agree with it. Third, Jesus allows the man to make his own decisions and respects that decision. He invites the man to a different way, but does not resort to belittling, or laying guilt, or attempting to control the man. He simply accepts the man’s decision not to follow. Finally, he continues to love the man, even when he does not choose as Jesus wants him to choose. At the foundation of all of Jesus’ actions lies his own security in God’s love and respect for himself. Jesus invites us to find our security in the depth of that love and then live with healthy respect for our own boundaries and the boundaries of God and others.

Questions for Reflection
1—Jesus refuses the expectations of others and instead finds his own sense of purpose in God’s love for him. What expectations do you think others have of you? What expectations do they actually have? How are these expectations similar and different? What do you learn about yourself in this process?
2—What boundaries do you set for yourself? Do you honor your own boundaries? How do you communicate these boundaries to others? Do you expect others to honor your boundaries? What do you do when people do not respect your boundaries?
3—How do you respond when people set boundaries with you? Do you feel rejected or abandoned when people tell you no? What does your emotional response tell you about what is going on in your heart? How can you continue to love even when people say no to you? How can you respect their boundary and remain in relationship with them?
4—How did the Holy Spirit speak to you in worship today?

Making Our Boundaries Clear

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God invites us to speak the truth to one another and not expect others to read our minds.

Ephesians 4:25-32
Key Verse: Ephesians 4:25 ‘Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

Today, we continue our series on boundaries by looking at making our boundaries clear. This boundary skill involves telling the truth about ourselves, our likes and dislikes, our needs, etc. Many people struggle with this skill because of fear. We think someone will reject us or abandon us or get angry or not approve of us if we tell the truth. However, in actuality, being able to be truthful in a relationship demonstrates the maturity and quality of that relationship. Think about it. When you first meet someone, you want to establish a connection, so you may not be honest about what you like or don’t like in order to agree with them. Then, as the relationship continues, you find that you do not share everything in common but you still value each other. As trust in the relationship grows, you discover you can be completely honest and not risk rejection or abandonment.

Our key verse today shows that connection between truth-telling and relationship, by reminding us that we can tell the truth because we are all members of one body. We belong to each other. Telling the truth will not separate that connection. In fact, just the opposite is true: lying to one another will destroy relationships. Ironic, isn’t it, that when we feel insecure in a relationship we fear telling the truth and yet it is failing to tell the truth that will destroy the relationship?

These feelings, though, can serve as a warning signal for us. When we struggle to be honest, we can ask ourselves what is going on in that relationship. We can name the fears underlying the struggle and these can help us change our behavior. When we feel angry, we can examine our hearts to see what is happening. Many times, anger serves as a warning sign that our boundaries are being crossed. Ephesians demonstrates this use of anger by saying, “In your anger, do not sin.” Instead, use anger as a gauge to explore what is happening in your heart. Then you can respond to the relationship in a healthier manner.

This passage from Ephesians describes some of these healthy and unhealthy behaviors. In the prior section, the author lists typical vices to be avoided now that we have been transformed by Christ’s love. The negative traits mark areas of our lives that still need to be healed. It also calls us to be renewed in our minds and clothe ourselves with the new self, created in God’s likeness for righteousness (right relationships) and holiness (love of God, ourselves, and our neighbor).

The section we read today then lists the positive traits that characterize the new creation in Christ. This list reflects many secular lists of the day of good and moral behavior. However, one key difference exists. Ephesians calls us to behave in this new way because of the gift of community. These virtues do not exist to make us good people, but to empower us to live together in peace. To live together peacefully, we need to watch our speech, using it to build others up even when we tell the truth. We need to get rid of (in other words, work through) our bitterness, anger, and rage. But, we do not do this work alone. Instead, the Holy Spirit lives in us (and we are sealed with that Spirit) and Jesus gives us the gift of forgiveness. When we experience forgiveness ourselves, we learn to share it with others. And, of course, forgiveness requires truth-telling. We must admit we are hurt in order to forgive the other, and we must admit our mistake in order to receive forgiveness. However, one of my favorite promises from John 8:32: “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”

Questions for Reflection

1—With whom do you struggle to be truthful? Who struggles to be truthful with you? Take some time to examine these relationships. What do you learn about the relationship and yourself from the struggle to be honest?
2—What fears make it hard for you to be honest with people? Fear of rejection? Abandonment? Fear of someone’s anger? How can you find support to work through those fears so that they do not drive your behavior?
3—When you cannot be clear on your boundaries, how do you behave? Do you withdraw instead of saying no? Do you endure the pain but grow resentful? Do you manipulate others to get your way instead of being truthful?
4—How has deepening your acceptance of Jesus’ complete unconditional love for you impacted your ability to tell the truth? How can you continue to deepen that relationship?
5—How did the Holy Spirit speak to you in worship today?